Beginning Again (and again)

I ran today for the first time since the summer.

Due to various foot injuries my passion for hitting the pavement has had to sit in the corner by itself.

Throughout these past few years I have attempted to return but my feet always lash out. And the angry feet always wins out over the sad passion in the corner.

But I have been working on fixing. You name it and I have tried it.

Today felt different. On our vacation I walked and walked and walked and (outside of one evening) my feet didn’t yell at me at the end of the day. I looked up Couch to 5K. Not because I needed too, I know the routine better than most, but because I wanted to read it over and over over again. Is this, is this, something I can do?

The answer is? I don’t know. My body wanted to go, though, it wanted to feel the rhythms that only running can offer. There is a certain power that vibrates through me when I run, and only when I run.

I pulled on my fleece lined leggings and zipped up my windbreaker over my fall coat. I stepped into my Hoka shoes with berry SuperFeet inserts and I opened the door to the winter air. It wasn’t whipping yet, as it had plans to do later, the cold was still.

I started out with a walk. Checking the timer on my watch, testing my feet. Are they annoyed? Mad? Okay?

I climbed the hill along the road and my right foot winced. Got it. Still warming up?

The timer ticked away in the stillness of the neighborhood around me. A new song came on in my ear buds. A good song.

How are my feet? Can I try? Can I run?

I could feel the right foot relax, remembering the way again. It had been down here before.

I checked my watch. Five minutes.

Maybe I told them too, maybe they just decided on their own, but my pace picked up. Jogging.

Two minutes of running. Two minutes of walking.

The tensions I wasn’t aware of were pounded into the ground with each two minutes of running. I smiled the whole time.

Is this the start of my second, third, fourth, running phase in life? I can’t say. I’ve begun and stopped so many times now I’ve lost track.

But maybe keeps me going, trying. Maybe I make it happen this time around. Maybe.