I am a rebel.

Whenever someone would tell me what to do I could feel myself closing up inside. A slow shut down of drapes, then a screen, a brick, ten more bricks.

Nope. Not. Doing. It.

Being a rebel mother, then, is cringeworthy when it comes to telling my kids what to do.

First I started with please and followed with okay? To soften the telling.

A parenting mentor of mine laughed when she saw me politely ask my first toddler to put on his coat. Please? Okay?

“This is a child,” she said, “children don’t understand the manners of adults. They only understand yes or no. Do or don’t do.”

I worked on it.

“Put on your coat….”

Dropping the please and okay took everything in my body.

“Wash your hands.”

I kept it simple for me and for them. But, it made a difference. There minds only had so much time and energy for my words. When I got to the point they could get to hanging their coats on the hooks or later carrying their plates to the sink after meals.

I can do this! I thought.

Then I saw my oldest when I started saying, “do your homework.”

His demeanor shifted. The drapes came down, then the screens, and finally bricks.

He is my child, after all.

How do you raise a rebel?

One screen at a time…