Colonoscopy

Prepping for my fourth colonoscopy isn’t a dream nor is it easy when there are three kids running around the home.

I chose Memorial Day Weekend to start the low fiber diet and drink the awful prep and…remember the colors of my bathroom walls.

The boys invited a friend over, and then more friends over. I was fine with it, after all, my husband was home and managing them all while I tried to ignore the scent of oatmeal banana pancakes sizzling on the griddle.

(“Wait, you can’t eat anything?” My husband asked that morning. Nope.)

But when I pulled out a giant jug from the cabinet and grabbed not one, not two, but three Orange Gatorade’s from the refrigerator, the boys tuned in. Their friend tuned in.

“You get to drink all that Gatorade??” one son said.

“Yes,” I said.

Then I dumped all the Miralax, the white powder swirling against the clank of my wooden spoon, into the glass container.

The boys know about my colonoscopy. They know what happens and they think it’s all a bit silly. They also know why I’ve had so many, and that seems a little less silly to them.

“What’s that white powder you’re pouring in?” The friend asked.

I sighed. By now I assumed all friends would be gone but the boys have made neighborhood friends, lovely friends their ages and boys run in and out of our home and in and out of their friends’ homes, back and forth, just as I’d wished. Except for every once and awhile. Like now, when I don’t really want to explain to a nine year old why I’m dumping 8.3 ounces of Miralax into 64 ounces of Orange Gatorade.

Thankfully, they are boys. And before I can will up any sort of answer, they are off to their next game or adventure.

I am left alone, in peace.

The following day I got an amazing nap and kind nurses who told me they were there in case anything should go awry. I got a clean bill of health. I got a sigh of relief.

Yes, colonoscopies make us giggle. They also save lives.

I still wonder what might have happened if my Mom’s colonoscopy had happened sooner, if they had gone past the blocked part of her colon.

And each time I wonder, I find it easier to drink that Magnesium Citrate four hours before the procedure.

Small potatoes, I think, for a large sigh of relief.